GI Joe Volume IX By Larry Hama

 GI Joe Volume IX

By Larry Hama

Alright, I've been reviewing this series graphic novel by graphic novel, although I've been sticking to the main series and haven't touched the special mission graphic novels yet. This volume collects issues 81 through 90, which ran from December 1988 to September 1989. 

 My review of Volume 8 was way back in March of last year so let me spin you up quickly. GI Joe is a top-secret special mission force whose members don't use their real names. They're primarily focused on a fighting Cobra, a fascist terrorist organization hell-bent on world conquest. Unlike the cartoons you're likely familiar with, here Cobra is doing a halfway decent job of it. Cobra Island is recognized by the UN, the terrorists have corporate backing, a small army of lawyers, PR flacks, and secret agents work within western society to protect Cobra's interests and hamper law enforcement from stopping them. To the point that arrested Cobra agents can often get out of jail legally through relentless lawfare

However, Cobra is also in an incredibly vulnerable state. The Cobra civil war has ended and while the impostor Cobra Commander, a secret agent of Cobra who decided to try for the throne since no one really knows what CC looks like, has won, his grip on power is marginal at best. For example, Destro has more or less cut ties and is running around pissing in everyone's cheerios in the name of profit and opportunity. So the fake CC is leading an operation that has lost a lot of its assets and manpower and on top of that, the number of people who know he's a fake is growing almost daily (Ah, shitty Opsec, thy name is Fascist.). So instead of focusing on taking over the US or swinging on the Joes, he's pouring out resources on taking out competitors and trying to bring the officer corps of Cobra under control. 

To do that he's having to lean more and more on the Dreadnoughts, an Austrian biker gang turned international crime syndicate under the leadership of Zartan. Zartan is a mysterious character in a lot of ways, he's not a ninja but can go head to head with them and has many abilities that haven't been explained just yet. Honestly, Zartan is a Cyberpunk Assassin before Cyberpunk really took off and is another example of just how underestimated and undervalued Larry Hama is as a writer. That's right I'm still defending this hill, come at me, bro! We do learn a bit more about Zartan; that the real Cobra Commander began their long relationship by (I'm just gonna call him CC from here on out) hiring him to kill the Joe, Snake Eyes. Why did CC want Snake Eyes dead? 

 Because CC's brother was a drunk driver. I'll explain. See, CC never qualified for military service but wanted to, his brother did and volunteered for extended careers to make sure CC wouldn't be sent to Vietnam (Wait.  Huh?  If CC never qualified for military service, was that due to age, or something else? {They never get into it, of course, this is a matter of competing claims, CC claims he volunteered and was rejected, someone else claims his brother served extra tours to keep him from being drafted} ). His experiences in that war broke him and he drove drunk on the highways seeking death. He found it, by ramming the car that was being driven by Snake Eye's family coming to pick him up from the airport, killing everyone involved. This wasn't just Snake Eye's parents but his twin sister. 

CC, never a paragon of rational thought or proportional response, decided this was all Snake Eye's fault and hunted down Zartan and hired him to kill him. Although this may be an attempt to avoid dealing with his own feeling of inferiority and guilt by throwing all the blame on a fellow victim of a tragedy (Maybe?). The fact that CC did this before launching his terrorist organization and was in fact a used car salesman is honestly? Kinda impressive in a screwed-up psychopathic way that brings home just how talented CC was, while also illustrating just how deeply unwell the man always was as well.  I can't help but wonder how many people's lives would have been better if CC had just opted to get a therapist instead of hiring assassins... 

Zartan did give it a good old college try but ended up murdering one of the leaders of the ninja clan that had taken Snake Eyes in (long story, see past reviews) kick-starting a long vendetta with the ninja Storm Shadow. Storm Shadow on the flip side eventually abandoned the vendetta due to seeing several examples of how destructive a quest for revenge at all costs can be (those of you who are willing to dive deep should look at the character Kwinn). Instead, Storm Shadow decided to pursue a better life for himself and his loved ones. Zartan doesn't believe this for a second and will spend a lot of this volume hunting Storm Shadow to kill him (Seems like Zartan is just as big a piece of work as CC, bluntly. {He’s an assassin for hire and career criminal so…No surprise?}). It's well done but it's an early example of a later flaw in the series where everything becomes about Snake Eyes, ironically the character himself doesn't show up much in this volume. 

Meanwhile, the Joes are focused on rebuilding and trying to mop up whatever elements of Cobra they can get to. Their internal enemies within the US government have either been arrested or gone to ground so for once they can operate without too much trouble (Well that’s good.  And in a shocking twist, the US government can finally deal semi-effectively with fascist infiltration!). Their biggest problem is the fact that Destro and the fake Cobra Commander are both going at one another, having identified each other as their biggest rival for the control of a currently reduced but still incredibly dangerous Cobra organization. This often leads to confrontations where the Joes are honestly unsure of what to do. Do they back one side over the other? Do they turn these battles into 3-way fights, running the risk of uniting both factions against them? Or do they just sit back and let Cobra and Destro kick the crap out of each other? Also what kind of popcorn do you eat while watching your enemies destroy each other? (The obvious answer is to perform false-flag operations, to spurn them into destroying each other.  Then you mop up what’s left.  Also, chocolate-covered caramel popcorn.)

We also have one more storyline involving CC's son, Billy, who is being raised by Storm Shadow to be a ninja. It says something about this kid's life that the world-class spy and assassin is the best father figure he's ever had (Poor kid.).  Storm Shadow also provides the most stable and loving home environment and consistent moral instruction Billy's ever had. I joke, but seriously Storm Shadow comes across as a stern but loving father figure here, teaching Billy that violence is an addictive drug that should be avoided as a solution in most situations. However, when your life or the lives of those you love are in danger, you need to be able to reply in kind to the cyberpunk shape-shifting assassin who is hunting you (I mean, this is solid life advice.). This may involve a high-speed archery duel combined with a car chase through San Francisco but who among us hasn't had a Saturday or two get a bit out of control like that? Billy meanwhile has to deal with a figure from his past showing up and I won't tell you who because why ruin the surprise? 

There are parts of this comic I really enjoyed but there are times where I can see the Hasbro strings showing through. Such as the constant requirement to shove more and more characters into the narrative to sell toys of them. This means I got to put up with characters as silly as BattleForce 2000 or otherwise perfectly good characters running into a firefight in a bright white baseball player's uniform (Wut. {look up a Joe called hardball}). I'm also not a fan of the gold mask look for Destro, I prefer the old-school silver mask myself. When Mr. Hama isn't having his elbow jogged, he's telling a rather compelling story about the continuing fallout of Cobra Commanders' horrible life choices.  In addition, what happens after a civil war even when one side “wins.” Not the strongest novel in the series but not the weakest either I would say, Volume 9 gets a B from me. 

        I hope you enjoyed this week's review! It was voted for by our ever-wise patrons, whose ranks you can join for as little as a dollar a month! Join us at https://www.patreon.com/frigidreads if you'd like a vote on upcoming reviews, be able to discuss upcoming theme months and reviews or would just like to help make these reviews self-sufficient. Next week, we're going to review Magnus of the Library Vol II. Hope to see you there and until then, stay safe and keep reading!

Red text is your editor Dr. Ben Allen

Black text is your reviewer Garvin Anders