GI Joe Vol V By Larry Hama

 GI Joe Vol V

By Larry Hama

“The best swords are kept in their sheaths” Storm Shadow

GI Joe Volume V covers issues 41 to 50 running from November 1985 to August 1986. Now I feel like I've said everything I could say on Larry Hama, but I'll repeat my cry to let him achieve his ambition of writing Scrooge McDuck! I also feel I've covered quite a bit about the writing process itself, and discussing Marvel comics is a bit outside the scope of a review. So let's just jump into it, shall we? Since this comic book is around 35 years old... Expect spoilers.

Volume V picks right off where Volume IV left us, in the middle of a story. Cobra had built an underwater bunker in the Gulf of Mexico with the express purpose of getting the US to blast it with heavy firepower. Which is something the US government and armed forces do quite well if you ask me and I suppose Cobra Commander agrees. Well, this causes a new island to form right in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico and Cobra claims it as sovereign territory (Interesting…). This is a rough process as the island's emergence causes a massive tidal wave that swamps a good amount of the Joe assets in the area. Now, I'm pretty sure this is unrealistic, so I've asked a geologist I know to weigh in. Some say he can identify rocks by smell, others that he is a result of climate change, all I am cleared to tell you is, my patrons would know him as Anonymous Reviewer Number 4  (In my professional opinion as a geologist, I could think of a few very specific sequences where a fault is loaded in such a way that a small amount of added energy could set off a larger earthquake. A metastable equilibrium, in other words. Earthquakes do tend to change stress fields of surrounding faults, and there have been cases of potentially sympathetic earthquakes in a region or along a larger fault zone (see something like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2019_Ridgecrest_earthquakes). However, even very large earthquakes like the 1964 Alaska earthquake resulted in vertical displacement on the order of tens of feet, and the energy released in that quake was approximately 5 gigatons, give or take.  The additional issue is that for an island to "rise" you would need a compressional tectonic environment where rocks are being squeezed together by the collision of plates.  The Gulf of Mexico is an extensional environment where the earth's crust is relatively stable, albeit being loaded over time with sediments from continental North America and Central America So if anything it would be more likely to see the formation of grabens, where faults are pulling apart and the earth's crust is stretching out. Cobra would be more likely to set off a new rift valley like the Mid-Atlantic ridge, rather than uplifting an island in the middle of nowhere [I love you so very much Comrade Anonymous Reviewer Number 4]). That said, it is entertaining to watch. What is slightly more realistic is that Cobra deploys an army of diplomats and lawyers to the UN, DC, and around the world to wrestle up enough recognition of their sovereignty to deter a US response. Now I think this tactic would be vastly less effective today, as the UN wouldn't be able to take any action in support of Cobra due to US Veto powers in the Security Council and no one in their right mind wanting an openly fascist terrorist group having such a secure base of operations (Um.  Provided this happens prior to January 2021, are you sure about that? {Governments react poorly to other people bringing armored battalions into their territory} An artificial Caribbean island is not US territory. <Grins> {Two points, a: prior to this Cobra led an armored assault on Fort Knox.  B that artificial Caribbean island isn’t US Territory… Yet.}). Recognition or no Recognition the USMC would storm that island and announce it a US territory at bayonet point. Besides, there aren't even any natives to worry about! It's a photo-perfect military op. At the height of the Cold War though? With plenty of nations willing and in this case vastly more able to support Cobra for reasons of realpolitik and sticking it to Uncle Sam? There's also Cobra's infiltration of the US to consider as Cobra assets in American society and the government would all be working to prevent overt action by the US

All of this is on the Joes mind as they decide to assault an island being held by a battalion with tanks and air support with a half platoon of men, some of them injured, to physically remove Cobra from the island reasoning that if Cobra has no physical presence on the island before the diplomats and lawyers can finish wrangling... Well, possession is nine tenths of the law they say. This is the first battle of Cobra Island and yes, we're gonna need more numbers. They do really well and are able to fight their way deep into Cobra's defenses but in the end, fail to beat the clock. Which is a great example of Mr. Hama's writing. By showing us the Joes losing and having Cobra achieve victories, he kept the menace of Cobra believable and maintained a certain level of realism in the comic. Which I'm sure was a struggle given that he had to balance the demands of a toy company among other things. Of course, this also shows that Cobra's main strength isn't its own military power but the people embedded in American society willing to help or stay neutral and thus hamper their nation's resistance to a terrorist fascist movement and let's be honest Cobra is a fascist organization. It's built around a personality cult welded to a sloppy ideology that the common man has been cheated of his rightful due by a nebulous group of others and only by brutal militarism and direct action can the common man take it back (Someone read their Eco.  Good.). Members of Cobra are encouraged not to think but to obey Cobra Commander to the last detail. Now that said, Cobra is interestingly free of the racism and sexism that plagues fascism but I'll also admit Cobra high Command is a very white bread affair which suggests a glass ceiling of sorts in the Cobra administration. Compare this to the Joes, which are made of men and women of all races and creeds and with women being given high positions fairly often, despite being a military organization in the mid-80s and well... I guess the Subtext is barely sub at this point, is it?

The story continues as personal issues push things forward. As some of my readers may remember, a Joe by the name of Ripcord became involved with a girl named Candy. Whose father turned out to be an officer in Cobra (This is gonna make the day she brings her boyfriend home to be threatened by her father a bit more harrowing…). In fact, he came up with the plan that started all of this. Candy disappeared when she was kidnapped when Buzzer, a member of the Dreadnoughts, a mercenary biker gang that does a lot of work for Cobra, escaped military custody kidnapping her along the way. Ripcord figures that the best thing to do is to get onto Cobra Island and basically do a live-action replay of Assassin's Creed until he finds out where his ex-girlfriend is and how to get her to safety. Now I'm gonna be honest with you folks, this is not a plan. This is a fever dream of wild hopes and ambition pretending to be a plan but Ripcord is committed to it (Not the brightest tool in the shed, clearly.{He jumps out of planes for a living}). Meanwhile, Snake Eyes gets information from a former leader of his ninja clan named the Soft Master on who killed his old master the Hard Master (There are jokes I can make here.  I won’t make them.). Leading him to promptly desert and go running to find Storm Shadow, who also loses his shit and the both of them decide to storm Cobra Island to find the killer and well... Kill him back. Ninjas tend to deal with their grief in very direct kinetic ways you see. On top of this, a Joe team comes running in to save Ripcord. What follows is a very unpleasant day for Cobra troopers as they have to deal with two ninjas in a killing rage (And the optimum number of Ninjas under the Inverse Ninja Rule is two.{It gets worse, they’re two ninjas with distinct uniforms, full names and backstories!} Marx’s Beard!  They’re invincible!), a team of Joes with orders to steal all the intel they can and get Ripcord out. Meanwhile, Ripcord ends up switching places with a member of Cobra high command, Zartan, and getting sent back to the US by Candy's Father when the two of them realize that no one has any idea where Candy is. While Zartan, due to his shapeshifting abilities, is mistaken for Ripcord and taken directly to the Pitt.

The entire graphic novel isn't devoted to the main plot however, we also get Dr. Mindbender introduced into the story, the Mad Scientist who also lifts and is responsible for creating another character that gets introduced in this volume, Serpentor. Now, Serpentor is pure pulp science, created by using the DNA of a dozen great warlords of history (although some of them have been dead for over a thousand years so I really doubt there would be any DNA left to use [There would be.  In the roots of the teeth, possibly marrow.{I review corrected}] That said, everything else about this origin story is a steaming pile of bullshit.  They would mix those genomes together and get… an average dude.  This is some strange eugenicist propaganda going on here!). In the cartoon, Serpentor is depicted as a mad man megalomaniac whose biggest advantage over Cobra Commander was having a respectful amount of personal courage. The comic Serpentor, who is created in much the same way, is a bit different and I'll get to that in the battle of Springfield. We also get the introduction of Sgt Slaughter! Sgt Slaughter was a wrestler who had the gimmick of being an ex-drill instructor and he was inducted as a Joe because Vince McMahon was making action figures for his wrestlers with another company and Sgt Slaughter had just left the WWE. Hasbro, looking to undercut their competitors cut a deal with Robert Remus, the man who played Sgt Slaughter and he signed over the rights to his likeness and for several years Sgt Slaughter would be the public face of GI Joe (This is some cursed shit.). Although he would be a bigger presence in the cartoons than in the comics, only really showing up for two issues, issue 48 and 51.  Here he shows up and quickly takes charge even taking out Zartan with a single punch.

This means that Ripcord ends up in Springfield, while Zartan is in the Pitt. What follows is basically a spy speed chess match, as both of these men posing as the other try to escape and inform their own side about the location of the top-secret base their side has been looking for (Is their fieldcraft any good?{Zartan’s fieldcraft is decent but limited by the fact that he is surrounded by suspicious highly trained and motivated people who know about his abilities.  Ripcord is dealing with the Dreadnoughts who are mercenary Australian bikers}). Ripcord manages to report first causing the first battle of Springfield. The first battle of Springfield is gloriously written. Cobra's leadership, realizing that they're outgunned and outnumbered since the Joes brought everyone, decides to evacuate the city but need someone to lead the defense. Destro is about to volunteer when Serpentor literally crawls out of his clone tube and demands the right to spend his first birthday (tube day? Clone day? I need a call from a biologist here {Decantation Day.  If he survives a year, it will be Decantiversary}) locked in brutal street by street mortal combat against a heavily armed and armored opponent. What follows is a damning indictment of Cobra High Command without Mr. Hama saying so much as a word about it in the comic or out of it. As the blocking forces of Serpentor not only hold the Joes but are often able to push them back as Serpentor leads from the front inspiring fanatical and energetic action from his Viper troops. Quite often we see that the Vipers cave quickly when running up against the Joes, but this frankly suggests they cave because they know their leaders (who are often very, very far behind him) are busy looking for the exits (Military Science peeps would call this Poor Vertical Cohesion.  Simply put, they don’t trust their officers.{We just call this bad leadership on the ground} Yes, an NCO would, but the USMC has a manual on this.). Give them a leader who runs out into the field of fire to retrieve wounded troops as Serpentor does and they're able to slug it out with the very best of the US military. Serpentor is even able to break contact with the Joes and get his men off the field of battle leaving the Joes nothing but a burning American City that has been wiped of all actionable intelligence, few if any Cobra prisoners, and a lot of the Pentagon and the Government openly questioning if Cobra was in charge of the town at all (And this is why you equip cameras.). Not bad for his first day alive huh?

Volume V is one where the Joes take a lot of hard knocks but give out a good number in return. It firmly reminds us why Cobra is so dangerous but makes the point that Cobra's greatest weakness is its own leadership, which is unable to sacrifice for a greater cause or act for anything but their own very limited interests even if that means the Cobra organization suffers (I am in fact reminded… of the Wehrmacht in 1945.  I almost pity them.  Almost, death to all fascists.  Their line officers and NCOs were excellent and they had fantastic horizontal and vertical cohesion which prevented their collapse before the glorious Red Army in 1944.  Seriously, they took 2.3 Stalingrads of deaths - not including all casualties, just deaths - in three months, and kept fighting.  However, as things got desperate and the brass became selfish and delusional - more so than thinking they could successfully invade the USSR in the first place, that was always delusion - it got really really bad to be in the Wehrmacht, and their cohesion collapsed.). Meanwhile, the Joes can come together as a unit and take incredible risks for one another and achieve the mission. Mr. Hama can make this point without having anyone give us tiresome speeches or long author soapboxes, he does it by simply showing it in the story. Which frankly makes him a great writer. There are also other stories in this volume that make it worth the price of reading. Such as the struggle of Wade Collins, a Vietnam Vet turn Cobra commando to decide just what he's going to do with his life; the final fate of Candy; and the continuing story of Billy, Cobra Commander's estranged son who has now been trained by Storm Shadow to be a ninja (That’ll make family get-togethers awkward.). With Volume V we're back in the groove I feel, I'm giving GI Joe Vol V by Larry Hama an A.

This is part one of a glorious doubleheader for Veteran's Day. Go ahead and head to the next installment for Volume VI.